Raindrops on Winchesters
by quietandsneaky
Summary: Fifteen years ago, Ellison 'Ellie' Winchester committed suicide after telling her father that she was pregnant. Only, she didn't. Not an Evy story, rated T for later mature themes.
1. Hi Guys

**Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Ellison "Ellie" Winchester/Mary Rothman does.**

 **A/N: For right now, Fridays in May is still on hiatus. For right now, enjoy this new one!**

There were days on the calendar that stuck out for John Winchester. As the years passed, they began to diminish somewhat in meaning, though they still had a lasting imprint on John's psyche. April 17th was his wedding anniversary, which he still celebrated despite the fact that his wife had been dead and buried for nearly a quarter century. January 24th was the birthday of his oldest son, Dean. May 2nd was the birthday of his younger son Sam. March 18th was his own birthday, which he hadn't celebrated in more years than he could count.

But there were two days that hurt John more than anything else.

One of them was November 2nd. November 2nd was the day that Mary, his wife had died. And exactly two weeks later, November 16th, had been the second day in John's life that he was surprised he'd been able to live through. The day he'd discovered that his oldest daughter, Ellie, was dead.

John didn't know the exact day or time that Ellie had died, because she'd run away after a massive fight with him. Well, if John was honest with himself, she'd run away after he'd screamed like a banshee at her and made her feel, in his words, 'no better than the girls your brother sometimes picks up in bars, and you aren't even legal age yet'. John had left the motel room they were staying in when he'd drawn his fist back to hit her, only to come back later and find that she'd taken nothing more than her sweater, the clothes on her back, and her journal. A five-day hunt for Ellie had turned up nothing, until that horrible phone call from Jim that had nearly ended John's life as well.

Ellie had committed suicide.

She'd been found underneath a bridge in a county nearly fifty miles away, where she'd apparently jumped to her death after writing a note in her journal and leaving it for her father. John knew the note by heart. _Daddy, I'm so sorry I disappointed you. I hope you can move on without me here. Tell Sammy and Deanie that I love them and care about them, and that I'm sorry things couldn't be better. Please, no matter what, don't split up because of me. Yours forever, Ellie'_ Ellie's death had been bad enough, and it alone had nearly destroyed John's will to live. But there was another tragic piece to the puzzle.

Ellie had been three months pregnant when she died.

That had been the catalyst for the fight, and John had left because of it. He'd left feeling angry and betrayed that at fifteen, almost sixteen, she could throw away her life for something as stupid as unprotected sex. She had tried to defend herself in the argument, but it had done no good. John had continued to scream, Ellie continued to cry, and he'd stormed out. Two hours later, he'd realized how reckless he'd been, and had gone back to the room to find her gone.

Now, as John dressed and prepared himself for the day on what should have been both Ellie and Sam's thirtieth birthday, John wished beyond everything that he could have gotten to know his grandchild. That he could've gotten to know the joy of holding another baby in his arms, to feel the unconditional love a small child provided. But he didn't, and never would, have that chance.

John was shaken out of his thoughts by Dean, who stumbled into the front room of the small house that he, Sam, and John all shared. It wasn't much, but it was the home base that Sam and Ellie, and Dean in John's suspicion, had always hoped for. John had bought the house after Ellie died in an attempt to fulfill her last wish of all of them staying together. There seemed to have been an unspoken agreement between the three of them to keep hunting, but to focus more on themselves as a family in their downtime as well.

"Hey, dad." Dean said.

"Hey, Dean. You ready to head out on that hunt today?" John asked as he poured coffee.

"Yeah." Dean answered with a yawn. "Sam's just getting dressed, then we'll be ready."

"Good." John said. "I have the name and address of the next place this spirit is likely to target. Mr. and Mrs. Jason Rothman."

"Why them?" Dean asked.

"Well, they've been married for ten years, but have a son, Connor, who's fourteen."

"Interesting." Dean said, voice only dripping with a bit of sarcasm.

"Hey, guys. Ready to go?"

Sam came out and the three of them headed off to Salinsa, New York to work the case. They chatted about theories on how to draw the spirit out on the way, but John was thinking about Ellie. The spirit they were chasing went after unwed mothers. John wondered if Ellie had lived whether the spirit would be going after her. When they arrived in Salinas, John sent Sam and Dean ahead to do a little reconnaissance, while he slept in the motel room. Some light protest came from Sam and Dean, but they went about their agreed mission.

The afternoon was dull. Mrs. Rothman didn't come home for a while, so they were stuck, mostly in silence, in the Impala. Finally, a car pulled up into the driveway. It was what Dean called the typical 'mom mobile'-a station wagon meant for a family with a lot of kids. And Mrs. Rothman fit the bill. When she stopped the car, a boy of about fifteen, which Dean guessed was Connor, piled out holding a soccer ball, and went around to the back and got out a few bags of groceries. His mom got out of the car, thanked him, and let out three little girls, identical triplets, who looked to be about three years old. The mom helped everyone into the house, but Dean stared in bewilderment. Surely it was a trick, a hallucination, a cruel joke. It couldn't be true.

"Sam." Dean said, smacking Sam in the stomach with a light 'ow' of protest from his brother. "Look at Mrs. Rothman."

Sam did look, and he seemed just as amazed as Dean. Before either of them could say anything, there was a light tapping on the back passenger door of the Impala, and Connor was standing there with a phone in his hand.

"My mom told me to bring this phone out to you guys and to come straight back into the house."

Dean took the phone from Connor, who promptly turned around to head back inside. The caller ID simply read 'Home'. Dean put it on speaker before saying,

"Hello?" 

"Well?" A familiar female voice answered. "Aren't you two gonna come inside?"

Dean quickly hung up the cell phone and looked to Sam. The most bizarre case they'd ever handled was right through the door of that house across the street, and it had nothing to do with the vengeful spirit. Slowly, they walked over and into the house, where the front door was open and waiting for them. The three girls played in a circle on the living room floor, while Mrs. Rothman quickly thanked Connor for going to the car for her and gave him permission to go upstairs to play video games. When Mrs. Rothman was facing them, Dean and Sam could no longer deny the truth.

"Ellie?" Sam asked.

As the breath left his chest, he found the ability to inhale suddenly non-existent. Dean was speechless.

Mrs. Rothman smiled, put her hands on her hips, and said, "Hi, guys. It's good to see you."


	2. Brothers and Sisters

**A/N: I've used this chapter title before (John Winchester's Mulligan), but I felt like it really fit here.**

"Girls, come on, go to your room."

"Mommy, I gotta go potty." One of the triplets said.

"Will you two help her? Please? Mommy needs to talk to her friends here for a while."

"We will, mommy! Come on, sissy!"

All three girls raced down the hall, the one that said she'd needed to use the bathroom going just a bit slower than the other two. When the door was shut, Mrs. Rothman, who'd just revealed herself as Ellie, turned back to Sam and Dean, whose mouths were still open wide, gaping in amazement.

"Come on, guys. We've got some stuff to talk about." She started towards the living room, only to find that Sam and Dean weren't following her. She turned around and laughed. "Guys, the couch is this way."

"Ellie, what the hell?" Dean finally said.

"Sit first, Dean. I'll talk, but please just sit down."

"Why should we?" Dean asked. "Ellie, you've been _dead_ …" 

"Because this is my house and I've been wrestling three toddlers all day. Sit down or stand in the hallway and listen to me and Sam talk, I don't really care." Ellie snapped. "Now what are you gonna do?"

Dean, startled at being ordered around by his baby sister, especially after so long, immediately complied. Sam was already sitting, still staring at Ellie as if she was a hallucination. When Ellie did sit, she let out a long breath, as if the couch was an oasis in a desert.

"Wow, that feels good."

Almost immediately, the three girls cames back out from the bathroom. The one who had announced she needed to go ran to Ellie and exclaimed,

"Mommy, I did it! I went all by myself!"

"You did?" Ellie asked, looking to the other two girls, who were nodding their heads eagerly in confirmation. "Good job, baby! I'm proud of you!"

After the three girls had each received hugs and kisses from their mom, two of them went back up the stairs. One of them, the only one of the bunch that wore glasses, approached Sam and Dean on the couch. She looked at them closely for a moment before announcing,

"Hi, I'm Mary Ellen. What's your name?"

"I'm Sam." Sam introduced himself then pointed to Dean. "That's Dean."

"Are you friends of my mommy?" Mary Ellen asked.

"We are." Sam said.

"How come I never seen you before?"

"Minnie." Ellie scolded gently from across the room. "Go upstairs with your sisters."

"Okay, mommy." Mary Ellen turned back to Sam and Dean and waved. "Bye."

"Bye, sweetie." Sam said, watching as the little girl ran up the stairs.

By the time she was gone, Dean's shock had started to fade and was replaced with both anger and hurt. "Ellie, I'll say it again. What. The. Hell?"

Ellie sighed. "I'm sorry, guys." 

"You're sorry?" Dean asked. "Do you have any idea what it was like when you died? What you put all of us through?"

"I'm sorry that I put you two through that." Ellie said. "But I won't apologize to Dad."

"Ellie, Dad's changed." Sam said.

Ellie scoffed. "I very much doubt that."

"He has." Sam said. "He took your note seriously."

"What note?" Ellie asked, then it dawned on her. "Oh, yeah."

"Oh, yeah?" Dean asked, his voice starting to rise. "Oh, yeah? You leave a damn _suicide_ note and all you have to say is 'oh, yeah'?"

"Dean, lower your voice. There's a no yelling rule in this house. For kids and grown-ups." Ellie said.

"I don't give a damn…"

"Dean Winchester, I mean it! You start yelling and I kick you out. Is that what you want?" Ellie asked.

Dean huffed, but slumped back against the couch. "No."

"Good. Now, what did Dad tell you about why I did what I did?" Ellie asked.

"That you two got in a fight because he found out you'd had sex and you ran away." Sam said. "Is that not what happened?"

"Typical." Ellie said. "Twisting the truth to make himself look good. That's only part of the story, Sam."

"What's the other part?" Dean asked, stomach twisting in dread.

"Do the math, Dean. My son is fourteen. I've been dead for fifteen years."

Sam put the pieces together first. "You were pregnant."

"Yep." Ellie said.

"That's what you guys fought about?" Dean asked. "He never told us…"

"Why would he? Because then he'd have to tell you that he drew his fist back to hit me too."

"What?" Sam asked. "He told us it got rough…" 

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." Ellie said. "Now you guys know the truth."

"You expect us to just leave?" Dean asked. "You know we're gonna tell Dad about this." 

"Dad's still alive?" Evy asked. "I figured he would have died on a hunt by now."

"You have no remorse for what you did to him? At all?"

"What _I_ did to _him_?" Ellie asked. "Dean, I was fifteen. I was pregnant, I was scared, and Dad was threatening me. I left him to protect Connor."

"Connor?"

"My son." Ellie said. "If dad was willing to threaten a pregnant kid like that, how did I know he wouldn't hurt my baby?"

"Ellie, Dad's always felt really bad about that fight. He blames himself for what happened to you. Or what he thought happened to you." Sam said. "He's changed."

"Then maybe something else good came out of it."

"El, please, please just come back to the room with us." Dean said. "See dad."

"No. No way." Ellie said.

"Please just think about it." Dean said. "We'll probably be here for a while."

"Why are you guys here?"

"There's a vengeful spirit going after unwed mothers." Sam answered.

Ellie smiled. "You guys don't have anything to worry about. I took care of that already."

"You what?" 

"Jim called me. Told me the spirit was around, asked if I could take care of it." Ellie said.

"Jim? Pastor Jim?"

Ellie frowned; she hadn't meant to give that away. "Yeah. Pastor Jim."

"He knew?" Dean asked.

"You didn't think I got away with it by myself, did you?" Ellie asked.

Dean was getting angrier by the second. "How could he just not tell us?"

"I begged him not to. And when he found out what happened with the fight, he agreed." Ellie explained.

"Now you have to come with us to see Dad. How do you expect us to tell him the spirit's gone?" Sam said with a pleading look. When Ellie looked down, Sam begged. "Ellie, please. Come with us. You don't have to stay long, just see dad."

"I'll think about it." Ellie said. "You two want a cup of coffee?"

An hour later, Sam and Dean were back in the car, heading back towards the room. Sam had given her his cell number and their room information, hoping against hope that Ellie would come that night. Dean had said nothing, and when he parked the car, Sam posed the question.

"What should we tell Dad?"

Dean sighed, but before he could answer, Sam's cell beeped. It was a text from Ellie. _I'll be there in two minutes._ Dean decided to wait for her, and a few minutes later, Ellie pulled up in the sam station wagon they'd seen earlier. She walked silently to the door with them, heart pounding in her chest. John answered, and started to ask the boys what had taken them so long and what they'd found out, when the words died in his throat. Despite her earlier threats, Ellie smiled.

"Hi, Daddy."


	3. Daddies and Daughters

"Hi, Daddy."

"Boys, what the hell is this?" John asked.

"It's Ellie, Dad." Dean said.

"That's impossible." John replied. "Ellie died fifteen years ago."

"Actually, I didn't." Ellie said.

"What the hell?" John repeated.

Ellie sighed. "Look, do you want to check that I'm human?"

"Good idea."

John ran through all the checks Ellie was referring to. He ran through them again, then one more time just to be safe. Satisfied that she was human, John shook his head.

"No, it's not possible."

"I know it looks that way, Dad." Sam said. "But she's real."

"Even if she is…" John said, "the Ellie I know wouldn't have been alive for fifteen years and not said anything to me."

 _Here comes the fight_ , Ellie thought. "Well, you're right. The Ellie you knew isn't alive now. Now can you please let us inside? It's freezing out here."

Reluctantly, John allowed the three of them inside. Ellie stood next to the door, preparing for a quick getaway if she needed it. Once the door was shut, she faced her father properly. Sam had told her several times about how he'd changed, but to her he looked the same. The same stubborn, angry, critical asshole that she'd run out on years before. The silence that filled the room at first was deafening, until Sam broke it.

"Someone talk, please. This is creepy."

"Okay, fine." Ellie said. "How are you, Dad?"

"That's all you have to say? How about an explanation? Like who the body was that I identified in the hospital?"

"A look-alike that a friend of mine found." Ellie said simply.

"Why would you do that, Ellie?" John asked, hurt.

"Really? Does this look familiar, Dad?" Ellie drew back her fist the same way John had the night they'd fought. "Does it?"

A dark cloud came over John's eyes, but Ellie was surprised. It wasn't of anger. It was sadness and regret.

"Ellie, I'm sorry about that fight."

"And that's just supposed to make it better, right?" Ellie asked bitterly. "I was _fifteen._ Fifteen and scared out of my wits, and you threatened to hurt me for it." 

"I never would have hit you." 

"Well, we'll never find out now, will we?" Ellie said. Just as she was about to continue the fight, Ellie's phone rang in her pocket, and she took it out.

"Don't turn away from me!" John said before thinking about it.

"Don't order me around. You lost every ounce of respect I had for you when you threatened to hit a pregnant girl." Ellie said. She answered her phone with a smile. "Hi, my babies!"

"Mommy!" A trio of squeals sounded.

"Are you guys ready for bed?" Ellie asked. When three excited voices all spoke at the same time, Ellie said with a laugh, "One at a time."

"Ready, mommy." One girl said. Ellie wished her good night, and that child went down the hall towards her room.

"Night night, mommy. I love you." Ellie told her she loved her too, and the second child went to bed.

"Mommy, you'll be back soon, right?" the third child said. Ellie promised she would, and that child went to bed.

Finally, the older boy, Connor, from earlier came on. "Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm just fine, sweetie. Thank you for watching your sisters. I'll be home soon."

"Are you sure? You sound mad." Connor said. "Should I call Dad?"

"No." Ellie said. "I'll talk to your dad later. You just get ready for bed and I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Okay, mom." Connor said. "Can I stay up a little longer?"

"How much is a little?"

"Half hour?" Connor asked.

Ellie smiled. "Since I won't be home until after your bedtime anyway, I guess I'd rather you ask than try to sneak it. So yes, you can stay up."

"Thanks, mom." Connor said.

"You're welcome, baby. Good night. I love you."

"Love you too." Connor said, then hung up.

As Ellie placed the phone back in her pocket, John was already regretting the words coming out of his mouth. "So you married him, did you?"

"Married who?" Ellie asked.

"Whoever your baby's father was?" John said.

Ellie bit back a raging response. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"Why? It's just a question." John said.

"No. From you, it's an accusation. Look, I came for a reason. I wanted you to see the reason that I'm not sorry for what I did. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. My husband, all of my kids, my best friend and her husband will be there. No matter how I feel about you, I don't want you guys to spend it in a dingy room with no case to work."

"What does that mean?" John asked.

"It means that I already took care of the spirit you guys came to get rid of."

"That's impossible." John argued. "How could you have taken care of it? You were barely fifteen…"

"Then go hunt it and see if I care." Ellie snapped. "Or come to dinner at my house. It's up to you." Ellie turned to Sam and Dean. "Do you guys want to come?"

Dean looked warily to John, but Sam answered for both of them. "We'd love to."

"Great. Dinner's not 'till six, but you guys can come any time after ten. Give me time to get the girls up and dressed."

"No problem." Sam said. "You want us to bring anything?"

Ellie smiled. Sam was still as considerate and helpful as she remembered him. "No thanks. But guys? My family doesn't know anything about my past before age sixteen. So don't blow it, or you won't be coming back. Got it?"

"Deal." Sam and Dean said together.

Ellie turned to John. "Dad, I won't beg you. If you come, great. If not, that's up to you. But either way, I hope you find peace one day. Sam, Dean, good night. I'll see you two tomorrow."

With that, Ellie turned to go. She hugged and kissed Sam and Dean, but left a seething John alone. What neither of them would ever admit to the other was that they both cried themselves to sleep that night.


	4. Best Friends and Little Sisters

**A/N: I know I haven't named two of Ellie's girls yet. There's a reason for that, and I will be naming them in a coming chapter.**

Sam approached the house slowly. He was wearing one of the shirt he normally saved for when he was pretending to be an FBI agent, unsure whether or not Ellie normally had the family dressed up or not. He hadn't slept the night before, the whole situation still too bizarre for him to understand. Beside him, Dean's mind wondered where this left them now. Ellie was alive, and he and Sam had not only a brother-in-law, but a nephew and three nieces that they didn't know. Dean had tried to get his dad's story of the fight that had made Ellie run away, but John had refused to talk. Before either of them could think anything else, the front door to the house opened.

"I figured you guys would spend forever waiting if I didn't open the door." Ellie said. "Come on in."

"I know you said ten, but we figured it was better to come a little later." Sam explained as he stepped inside.

"I appreciate that." Ellie said sincerely. "We've all had a little bit of a problem getting started this morning."

When Ellie shut the door, Sam and Dean were greeted by three pairs of curious eyes watching them from the couch. Two of the girls were dressed in identical pink pajamas. Mary Ellen, the one who had tried to make friends with Sam the day before, was dressed in Batman pajamas. On the television was the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. The other two girls turned back to the television. Mary Ellen waved enthusiastically, then did the same.

"Can you girls say hello?" Ellie asked gently.

"Hi!" All three said without much gusto.

"Come on in the kitchen, guys." Ellie said. "Girls, the parade'll be over soon. When it is, I want you to go upstairs and play while mommy cooks. Understand?"

"Yes, mommy."

Sam, Dean, and Ellie walked to the kitchen, and the smells of so many different foods hit Dean's stomach that it rumbled fiercely. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, and Ellie noticed.

"I made something just for you, Dean." Ellie said, uncovering a pan on the counter.

Dean's mouth dropped. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep. Cherry." Ellie said. Dean reached for a fork and Ellie slapped his hand away. "Nope. Dinner."

"Oh, come on!" Dean said.

"Dinner." Ellie repeated. "Listen, guys, I wanted to tell you something while it's just us. I know you're mad and hurt, and I don't blame you. I am sorry. Sam, I didn't want to leave you, but I had to protect Connor. I didn't want to put my kid through the life we were living. Dean, I didn't want to put you in a position to have to choose between me and dad. Please don't hate me, guys. I love you. I've thought about the two of you every day. I want you two to get to know my kids and my husband. So can we start over? Please?" 

Sam didn't hesitate. "I don't hate you. I never have. I couldn't if I tried."

Ellie smiled, then turned to Dean. "Dean?"

Dean was a little more thoughtful in his answer. "Losing mom was hard. But losing you? That killed me. You and Sam are my heart, sis. It took everything I had to keep going when we lost you. Please don't do that again."

"I won't." Ellie swore. She held out her pinkie finger. "Buddies?"

Dean hooked his pinkie finger in hers. "Buddies."

"So, Ellie, what are your…?"

"Hey, mom?" Connor appeared in the kitchen doorway, the house phone in his hand.

Ellie smiled to Sam and Dean. "Sorry, guys, you should probably get used to that." Turning to Connor, she asked, "What's up, kiddo?"

"Uncle Wade's on the phone."

"Lemme see." She took the phone from Connor and answered it. "Hey. What's going on?...Oh, no. I just sent Jake out for a couple things from the store. I'll ask him when he gets back if he can come…Then why the hell did you call me if you already talked to him?..Okay…Yeah, I'll talk to her…Hey, babe, what's up?...I've got desert, I've got the turkey, I've got beans….Okay, sounds good…Thanks, love you too…bye."

Ellie hung up the phone and handed it back to Connor. "Hang that up for me, please."

"Mom? Can I go with dad when he picks up aunt Nadine and uncle Wade?" Connor asked.

Ellie smiled knowingly. "You want to get away from your sisters for a while?"

"Maybe." Connor said.

"Yeah. It's okay." Ellie said. "Till then, will you go keep them from destroying their room?"

"Sure, mom." 

"Thank you, Connor. You're the best, you know that, right?" Ellie said.

"Mom…" Connor said, clearly embarrassed from the praise.

"I mean that, Connor. I appreciate your help with them. I couldn't do it without you, bud." Ellie said.

"I'm going upstairs now, mom."

As Connor left, Ellie explained to Sam and Dean, "I try to tell him that as much as I can. Poor kid was an only child for eleven years."

"Then he gets three little sisters?" Sam asked. "Wow."

"Yeah." Ellie said. "See that picture on the wall behind you? That's me a week before I had them by C-Section."

A half hour of small talk proceeded, and Ellie somewhat caught both of them up on the happier aspects of her life. She had married Jake when Connor was five, and had the triplets six years later. The front door opened and in stepped a man that Sam and Dean presumed to be Jake.

"I'm back!"

"Hey, baby, I'm in here." Ellie said.

Jake walked in carrying one grocery bag under his arm. "I think I got everything you asked for…Oh, hi."

"Hi." Sam said awkwardly.

"Jake, this is my brother Sam and my brother Dean." Ellie said.

"Hey, guys. Nice to meet you. Ellie's told me a lot about both of you." Jake said. "I wish I could stay, but Wade called…" 

"I know. He called me too." Ellie said. "Thanks for going to get them."

"Sure. I'll be back soon."

"Connor wants to go with you." Ellie said. "I told him it was okay. I think the girls are driving him nuts." 

"Sure." Jake laughed. "They're just not used to him being home all day."

"See you soon, babe."

The afternoon proceeded fairly quietly. The girls played in their room, only coming out a couple of times to beg for snacks. Ellie fixed them a light lunch, promising them much more come dinnertime. Mary Ellen had a passionate conversation with Dean about how much cooler Batman was than Superman, while the other two girls quietly engaged Sam in a talk about what they liked to read. When there was another knock at the door, Ellie shouted,

"It's open!"

Ellie received quite the shock when the visitor walked into the kitchen. It wasn't Jake as she thought, but instead John.

"Hi." 

"Hi." John said. He looked at the three girls sitting at the table with Sam and Dean. "Are these your girls?"

"Why don't you ask them?" Ellie asked.

"I didn't come to start a fight…" John said.

The door opened again, and a woman's high pitched voice sounded through the house. "I'm home!"

"Aunt Nanna!"

All three girls jumped joyously from the table and ran into the living room, wrapping arms around Nadine's legs. Nadine walked in carrying one girl in her arm and with one hanging off her legs, while her husband Wade walked in carrying Mary Ellen in his arm. Jake and Connor followed the two of them into the kitchen, where Nadine was now staring at John with a mix of shock and pure, unadulterated anger. She looked to Ellie and asked,

"What the hell is he doing here?"


	5. The Whole Story Starts to Come Out

**A/N: In this chapter, Ellie reveals something to John, Sam, and Dean that she's left buried. Without spoiling it, the last line of this chapter and the following chapter (which I'm working on now) is the reason I made this story a T rating.**

 **Disclaimer: Ellie sings a song in this chapter, "My Favorite Things" from the movie _The Sound of Music._**

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"Excuse me…" John asked, unable to believe the gall of this woman he'd just met. "And who are you?"

"Nadine…" Ellie said.

"I'm her best friend…"

"Well, I'm her father…"

A slam to the table made everyone jump. "ENOUGH!"

Everyone stared at Ellie. The little girl that Wade was holding squeezed his neck and whimpered. Ellie shut her eyes tight.

"Mommy, I thought we wasn't supposed to yell."

Ellie opened her eyes and smiled. "We're not, sweetie. I'm sorry. Mommy won't yell again."

"Aunt Nanna, please don't fight with mommy's friends. It makes her sad."

"Your _friends_?" John asked, turning again to Ellie. "Is that all we are to you?"

"Hey." This time it was Wade who spoke up. "Listen, buddy, I'm not too crazy about you being here either. But if Mary wants you here, I won't stop it. However, this is their house," Wade indicated Ellie and Jake, "and their rules. You try to start a fight, or you make Mary upset, you're gone. Got it?"

"Just who do you think you are? You know, I'm a marine…"

"And I'm a colonel in the Marines, so let me put this in terms you'll understand. In this house, Mary's the president, Jake's the general, I'm the colonel, my wife is the secretary of defense, and the kids are privates. You are barely a recruit. Now I'll say it again, soldier. Do you understand?"

John, stunned at being told what to do by anyone, much less a Marine colonel after so many years, simply answers, "Yes."

"Yes, what?"

Now it was Sam, Dean, and Ellie's turn to be stunned. They nearly fell through the floor at John's response.

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, then." Wade said with an air of finality. "Mar, you need any help?"

"You can finish the turkey or get the girls dressed."

"Ah, mommy, so we have to?" Mary Ellen asked.

"I know you don't like dresses." Ellie said patiently. "But Thanksgiving is a really special time for mommy. Just one night, okay? You can change back to your PJs as soon as I start handing out dessert."

Mary Ellen's expression softened. She wanted to make her mommy happy, so she reluctantly grumbled, "Okay, mommy."

"Thank you, my love." Ellie said.

As the girls headed down the hall, followed by Jake and Connor, Ellie noticed the tension still there between John and Nadine. Wade stood next to his wife, silently begging for her not to start anything.

"Can we please have a nice, civil dinner?" Ellie asked cautiously.

"Why is he here?" Nadine asked as calmly as she possibly could.

"Who is this…" John asked again.

" _This_ has a name." Nadine spat. "It's Nadine. Or, for you, Mrs. Klein. _This_ is the bitch who found your sixteen year old daughter and your newborn grandson living under a bridge and freezing. This bitch also brought your kid home to her parents, who took your daughter and your grandson in so she could finish high school and go to college and still raise her son. _That's_ who _this_ is."

John was again forced to silence. He'd assumed, as happy as Ellie seemed to be, that her life was, as he'd heard her describe she wanted in her younger days, 'so normal it would make you sick'. But the feeling of failure hit him hard. Ellie had chosen to live under a bridge, cold and alone and pregnant, rather than with him. He knew he was a coldhearted bastard more times than not, but was he really that awful?

"Stop. Both of you. I mean it. I didn't invite all of you here to rehash the past. There'llbe time for that later. I want to have a good Thanksgiving. Agreed?" Ellie asked.

"Agreed." John and Nadine said at the same time.

"Thank you." Ellie said. "And Wade?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you too."

The table was set, the food put out, little and big bellies alike were filled. John ate, but mostly sat quietly watching the rest of the room. Even Sam and Dean seemed different. They were more at peace, more relaxed than in a long while. Ellie laughed more than John ever remember from her. His heart ached when, at the request of the three little girls, Ellie sang what had been her favorite song as a little girl.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad."

 _When I'm feeling sad, indeed._ John thought. Sad was all he had been feeling for years. All the anger, all the frustration, all the pissed off drunken nights where he cursed his life went back to that. Ever since Mary's death. So why did Ellie get to be happy? John knew it was a bad idea, but he said it anyway.

"How could you be so selfish?"

Ellie, who'd just finished her song and was taking a sip from the wine glass she was holding, stopped talking and looked to John. "What?"

"I said, how could you be so selfish?" John repeated. "Your brothers and I were destroyed when you died. Sure, you had it rough for a while, but you got to go to school, have your baby, do everything you wanted to do. I bet you didn't even think about us."

"That's it." Wade said, starting to get up from his chair.

"Wade, stop." Ellie said, only briefly taking her eyes off John. "I'll take care of it." When Wade sat back down, Ellie turned to the kids. "Connor, girls, take your plates and go eat in the back of Daddy's truck."

"But I'm still hungry!" Mary Ellen protested.

"Fill up your plates, and if you want more Daddy and I'll come get you later. Connor, do not come back inside until I tell you to."

"Okay, mom." Connor said, throwing dirty looks John's way. "Can I tell you something first?"

"What is it?"

"You're the best mom I could have gotten." Connor said.

Ellie was breathless. "Connor…"

"No matter what happens with him, just remember. You still have me, dad, the girls, aunt Nadine and uncle Wade. We love you and you are _not_ selfish." Connor said.

"Come here." Ellie said, grabbing Connor in a hug. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Connor said. "I'll take the girls."

When the kids were gone, Ellie felt a surge of courage she hadn't felt before. Once the door was shut, Ellie turned and said, calmly and with no wavering in her voice whatsoever,

"You've got a lot of nerve calling me selfish. You haven't even asked what my children's names are. Do you want to know? They're Connor Samuel, Mary Ellen, Deanna Murphy, and Roberta Johnnie. You still think I didn't think about you?"

A deep sense of shame filled John. He had chased Ellie away, and she'd named one of her children after him? Little did he know, that sense of shame was about to be multiplied tenfold.

"And as smart as you are, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out."

"Figured what out?" John asked, his heart clenched in dread.

Ellie took a deep breath. " _Having_ Connor was my choice. _Conceiving_ him wasn't."


	6. The Rest of the Story

**A/N: Last chapter! I've enjoyed this story more than I thought I would. Thanks for sticking with me.**

 **Disclaimer: The song that Ellie begins to sing in this chapter is Cher 'Song for the Lonely'.**

The confession Ellie had just made stopped the room entirely. Jake, Nadine, and Wade knew already, so they said nothing, just turned away in silence. Sam and Dean looked pained, as if they wanted to grab Ellie and hug her and never let her go. John had yet to process exactly what she'd said. Ellie took advantage of his surprise.

"Suddenly the great and all-knowing John Winchester has nothing to say."

"What…why wouldn't you tell me that?" John asked.

"When exactly was I supposed to tell you? When you were screaming at me about how ashamed of me you were? When you told me I was no better than the girls Dean brought home from the bar? Or how about when you drew your fist back to hit me? Should I have told you then?"

"Who was it?" John asked.

Ellie laughed bitterly. "That's the best part of this whole story. Remember Grady?"

John wanted to crawl under the table and stay there. "Yes."

"Remember how you forced me to go on that hunting trip with him? And I kept telling you that I didn't want to go? That I didn't trust him? You remember that?"

"I remember." John said quietly.

"What did you say to me when I told you that?" Ellie said.

"Ellie…"

"What did you say?" Ellie insisted.

"That it would be good for you."

"That it would be good for me." Ellie agreed. "What do you think now?"

"Where is Grady?" John asked. "He disappeared a couple of weeks after you did."

"He didn't disappear." Ellie said. "Bobby took care of him."

"Bobby?" John asked. "Bobby knew?"

"He doesn't know that I'm alive. The only friend of yours who does know is pastor Jim. I sent Bobby a note right before I wrote the one to you. I told him what happened. I haven't heard from Grady since."

"Why didn't Bobby tell me?" John asked.

"Because I asked him not to." Ellie said. "And I'll tell you something else. Something that I've never even told Nadine. When her and her dad found me under that bridge, I was on my way to take Connor to the local hospital. I was going to take him to the maternity ward, leave him there, and then really go jump off a bridge. But I didn't." When her admission was met with silence, Ellie asked, "You still think I'm selfish?"

"Ellie, baby…" 

"I haven't been your baby in years. Don't call me that." Ellie said. "And do not tell me that you're my family either. My family is Jake, Nadine, Wade, and my children. If you want a chance to get back into that circle, you need to accept that. They're not going anywhere."

Before Ellie could say anything else, there was a knock at the back door. Ellie went to answer it and found Connor standing there.

"Connor, what are you doing?"

"I need to talk to dad." Connor said, not giving Ellie a chance to respond, pushing through her and walking over to Jake.

"What…?" Ellie said, watching as Connor whispered something into Jake's ear.

"That's a great idea, son!" Jake said. "You go set everything up and I'll get the girls."

"What are you two doing?" Ellie asked, a little miffed at being interrupted.

"Just trust us, honey. Please?"

"Okay." Ellie said. 

"Alright. You guys go into the living room and I'll get the girls." Jake said. He turned to Sam, Dean, and John. "That goes for you too."

Everyone took position in Ellie's living room. Connor stood next to the television with a DVD in his hand. Wade and Nadine sat on one couch, Sam, Dean, and John on the other. Mary Ellen, who had taken quite well to Dean, sat in his lap. Roberta and Deanna sat on the laps of Nadine and Wade. Jake sat in a lazy chair, and Ellie sat in front of him.

"What are you two up to?" Ellie asked.

"Why don't you tell her, son?" Jake said.

Connor cleared his throat and said, "We were going to wait and give you this for Christmas, but I think you need to see it now. It's the project I made for art class."

"Okay." Ellie said with a smile. "Why all the mystery, though?"

"You'll see." Connor said, inserting the tape and waiting for it to play.

As Connor sat on the floor next to his mom, the disc began to play. It started with some simple text which read 'Connor Rothman, 9th Grade Art Project, Salinas High School'. But when the movie proceeded, Ellie mouth dropped open in shock.

"Hi, everyone." The Connor on the screen began. "So, I told my mom this movie was about my family. And, in a way, it is. But it actually focuses on her. Because, you see, without her, there wouldn't be much of a family here."

Connor ran through the introductions of who would be seen in the video-Jake, Nadine, Wade, and the three girls. He also introduced some of the family that would be seen but wouldn't be participating in the video-Nadine's parents, who Connor referred to as his grandparents. The first segment of the video was an interview Connor did with his mother.

"Thanks for doing this with me, mom."

"Happy to, sweetie." Ellie said. She put a hand in front of her mouth. "Sorry. You want me to call you Connor for the movie?"

"It's okay." Connor said.

The Ellie in the living room lightly smacked Connor on the shoulder. "You told me you edited that out."

The movie continued. Connor said, "Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few questions. If you really don't want to, you don't have to, but I'd really like you to answer all of them. Okay?"

"I'll do my best."

The first question popped up on the screen. _What was your life like before you met Dad?_

Ellie popped back onto the screen. "Well, my mom died when I was six months old. I had my dad, my big brother Dean, and my twin brother Sam."

"What were they like?" Connor asked.

"Well, Sam and I were best friends. I don't think I remember a single day that we didn't talk, even if it was to fight." Ellie said.

Ellie looked to Sam, who was nodding in agreement.

"Dean was always there to protect me and Sam. He always made me feel safe. Like I was loved and wanted. I miss both of them every minute of every day."

"What about your Dad?" Connor asked.

The Ellie in the video shifted uncomfortably, as did the Ellie in the living room, as well as John. But Ellie's answer surprised John.

"My dad had his flaws, but I always saw him as a hero. He was away from home a lot, so most of taking care of me and Sam went to Dean. But when Dad was home, he usually tried to spend time with me and Sam and Dean. He wasn't always an easy man to get along with, but I never felt like he didn't love me."

Tears were stinging John's eyes now. He could see that Ellie was being sincere in the video, and that killed him. He didn't deserve the respect he'd demanded from her growing up. It had been him who led Ellie into the arms of the man who'd hurt her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but how do you apologize to your daughter for something like that?

"Okay, keep going. What was it like before you met Dad?"

"Well, when I found out I was pregnant with you, my dad and I got in a huge argument and I ended up running away from home. I haven't seen him since. While I was pregnant, I was homeless. I kept moving so I could stay under the radar of social services. I was afraid if they found out I was a pregnant teenager and I didn't have a place to live, they'd take you away from me. And after losing my dad and my brothers, I couldn't stand the thought of that. I eventually gave birth to you in a little church here in town."

"Is that when you met aunt Nadine?"

"Not quite. I had you, and I stayed at the church for a few hours to recover. I left, because as friendly as the nuns at the church were, I was still afraid they'd call social services and take you away from me. I stayed under a bridge with you for a couple of days, and that's when I met your aunt Nadine. She was walking home from school, and she asked me to come home with her. Meet her parents, get my bearings. I wouldn't do it, so she tried a couple more times. When that didn't work, she brought her dad out with her."

"Grandpa Jack?"

Ellie nodded. "Mm-hmm. Grandpa Jack. He convinced me to come back to their house, get some food, some water, some decent clothes for you. I ended up staying a week when they made me a deal."

"What deal?" Connor asked.

"Well, your grandma Ruth ran a daycare from home. She told me that if I agreed to go to school and help her around the house, she'd take care of you for free. It's because of her I finished high school and went to college. We stayed with her and your grandpa until you were four years old. When I met and married your dad."

"Okay. Next question." _How did you meet dad?_

The Ellie in the video laughed, as did the Ellie and Jake in the living room. "So, your dad and I had a mutual friend named Charlie. Charlie was this big old rough and tumble type guy. He'd pretend to be tough but he was all fluff on the inside. He babysat you a few times."

"I think I remember him. He used to give me candy when you weren't looking."

"Yep. That was him." Ellie said. "Anyway, he actually set me up on a blind date with your uncle Wade, who was and still is your dad's best friend. And he set your dad up on a blind date with your aunt Nadine, who was and still is my best friend."

"Wait. You never told me that. He set you up with uncle Wade?" 

Ellie laughed. "Yep, he sure did. Everything went great on the date, but we kind of all figured out sitting at the table that I was a better fit for your dad and Nadine was a better fit for Wade. Nine months later, all of us were getting married."

 _Do you have any regrets?_

"No." Ellie said without hesitation. "I used to. But everything was worth it to get you, and your sisters, and your dad…" The Ellie in the video swallowed hard. "And your brother."

"Brother?" Sam asked.

"It's okay, mom." The Connor in the video said. "You don't have to talk about Caleb if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay. I miss him every day. But he's up there right now, with my mom, your grandma, and your grandpa. We'll see him again."

"Babe, you okay? You need a break?" Jake asked.

Connor paused the video, and everyone turned to Ellie, who was sniffing and wiping her eyes. Jake was rubbing her back, and Ellie shook her head and waved her hand dismissively.

"I'm fine. Just give me a second." Ellie said.

"El?" Dean asked. "Who's Caleb?"

"I don't think she wants to…" Jake started to say.

"It's okay, babe. I want them to know." Ellie said. "Connor, would you go get me a water bottle and some tissues please?"

"Sure, mom."

Once Connor brought back what Ellie asked for, and she was calm enough to talk, Ellie explained,

"Caleb was born a couple years after Jake and I got married. He was born completely healthy, but he died in his sleep six weeks later."

"Why?" Sam asked. "If he was healthy, what killed him?"

"SIDS." Ellie said. "He just stopped breathing."

"I'm sorry." John said. When Ellie looked up, John explained, "I know how it feels. To lose one of your kids. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I am sorry."

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Ellie said. "I was so scared you'd reject me, that you'd hate me. And I couldn't put Connor through the life we were living."

"I get that." John said sincerely. "I do. And more than anything, I'm sorry I sent you to that monster. I just wish I could have dealt with him myself. I'm so sorry, baby girl."

Ellie smiled. "Can we start over? I forgive you if you forgive me?"

John nodded. "Yeah. We can do that."

"Mom? Do you want to see the rest of the movie?"

"You bet I do." Ellie said. "Press play."

Ellie's interview in the video ended, and Connor came back on the screen. "The next part of the video my mom knows nothing about. I decided to interview the rest of my family too. Let's see what they had to say."

Another question popped up on the screen. _What's your favorite thing about mom? Your least favorite thing?_

Wade was the first one to answer. "My favorite thing about your mom? No doubt-her cooking. Your mom is the best cook I've ever met."

"Excuse me?" Nadine asked in the living room.

"Honey, you know I'm right." Wade said.

Nadine laughed and shrugged. "Yeah, you're right."

"My least favorite thing? That's tough, man. I don't know."

"Come on. There's nothing?" Connor asked. "Not one thing."

"Probably the fact that she's one of the only people on the planet that could kick my ass…oops, butt. Don't tell your mom I said that."

Ellie laughed, and blew Wade a kiss from down on the floor in front of Jake.

Nadine came next. "I like that your mom is such a strong woman. She took care of you and went to school and made straight A's. That's no small feat."

"And your least favorite thing?"

"That I have to threaten to kick her butt when she gets sick." Nadine said.

Jake's turn came. "My favorite thing about your mom is that she is an awesome mom, an amazing wife, and an incredible friend all at the same time."

"And your least favorite?"

"No way, son. I'm not stupid. I have to sleep with your mom at night."

Ellie laughed and looked up at Jake. "Good move."

Deanna was next, and Connor had to coach her a little. "Come on, Didi. You can do it. What's your favorite thing about mommy?"

The nervous Deanna shifted in her seat on the screen. "Um, that she always tells me I'm a good girl. Even when I not being one."

"That's good. What's your least favorite thing about mommy? Anything?"

"That she makes me go to bed when I want to play." Deanna said.

Connor laughed. "Okay, Didi. Thanks."

Next came Roberta, who seemed to be even more shy than her sister.

"Come on, Bobbie. What's your favorite thing about mommy?"

"I don't know." Bobbie said with a shrug.

"Anything. Anything you really, really like about mommy."

"That she listens to me when I gets in a fight with Minnie or Didi." Bobbie said.

"That's a good one." Connor said. "What's your least favorite thing?"

"I don't like it when mommy cries in her sleep sometimes. I don't like seeing her said."

Mary Ellen came up, and she was much less shy than her sisters. "I like that she don't make me try to be all girly."

That drew a laugh from everyone in the room.

"And I don't like that she don't take care of herself when she don't feel good. Daddy and aunt Nanna has to make her."

Finally, Connor took his turn. "Well, mom, that's what everyone thinks about you. Now, knowing you, you're probably sitting there crying right now and hoping that that's it. Well, sorry. It's not."

Ellie laughed, but sure enough, she was crying.

"Mom, my favorite thing about you is that you didn't give up. Even on the nights you were exhausted, you were holding me and telling me how much you loved me. You didn't have to do that, mom. You were sixteen. You were only a couple years older than I am now. You could have given me up for adoption and led whatever life you wanted. I know there's days that you wonder what kind of mom you are. So I'll tell you. You're amazing. Me, Didi, Minnie, and Bobbie are the four luckiest kids in the world. I love you, mom. Please don't ever doubt that."

"Oh, Connor." Ellie said. "I won't, I swear."

"Good. But it's not over yet." 

"What?"

"And now, purely because I want to see the look on my mom's face when I show this, this is my favorite memory of my mom." Connor said. "Enjoy."

"What did you do?" Ellie asked.

The video switched to a wedding. There was a band, a small crowd, and Ellie groaned while Wade, Nadine, and Jake laughed.

"Is this your wedding?" Sam asked.

"Yes." Ellie said.

Suddenly, a younger Ellie came to the stage, took the mic from the lead singer, and music began. Suddenly, Ellie's booming singing voice started again.

"When you're standing on the edge of nowhere, there's only one way up, so your heart's gotta go there…"

"Come on, mom. Sing for us." Connor begged.

"No." Ellie said, giggling.

"Come on, girls. Ready?" After counting to three, all four kids, and even Wade, Nadine, and Jake exploded in a simultaneous "PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEE!"

"Okay, okay! You win!" Ellie stood up and looked to Connor. "Start it over."

"You got it."

Connor started the music over, and Ellie stood up and sang from her heart. "When you're standing on the edge of nowhere, there's only one way up, so your heart's gotta go there…"

John watched as Ellie sang, his sense of shame and failure from earlier magnified. Ellie wasn't selfish as he'd accused her. She was selfless. She hadn't had much before, but she'd given it all up so her baby could have a life. She'd fought hard to give him what she deserved and had never gotten-a stable, loving family.

"This is a song for the lonely, when your dreams won't come true…"

 _How lonely were you?_ John thought to himself, fighting back tears. He'd never been one for regrets, but he wanted to go back in time now and kick his own ass for doing anything other than wrapping her in a hug and telling her it would be okay. That he'd be there for her, that they'd figure out what to do together. Before he could worry about it too much, a hand touched his and shook him out of his thoughts. It was Roberta, the little girl Ellie had named after him and Bobbie.

"Is you my grandpa?"

John smiled. "I guess I am."

"Cool." Roberta said, grinning. "I'm Bobbie." 

"Hi, Bobbie. It's nice to meet you."

She turned to Sam and Dean. "Does that make you guys my uncles?"

"Yep." Sam said.

"Wow."

Ellie's song had ended, and she watched Bobbie talk to John. "Hey, Bobbie? Why don't you show grandpa John the dessert you helped me make yesterday?"

"You wanna see?" Bobbie asked.

"I'd love to. Let me talk to your mom first."

"Would you guys go with Bobbie to the kitchen?" Ellie asked. "I want to talk to them alone."

Nadine, Wade, Jake, Connor, and the three girls went into the kitchen. Ellie turned to her family, who until yesterday she had given up hope of ever seeing again.

"If you guys want to be involved with them, there's rules. You break 'em, you're gone."

"What rules?" Dean asked.

"Leave the hunting on the road. I don't want them to know anything about the supernatural. I know you don't agree with that," Ellie said, turning to John, "but I don't care. You let them know anything about what you really do, it's over."

"I won't say anything." 

"And you have to be sober." Ellie said. "Even if it's just a two hour visit."

"Agreed."

"Good." Ellie said. "One more thing."

"What?"

"That dessert Bobbie made? It tastes like sandpaper. You better act like it's the best thing in the world."

John laughed. "I can handle that."

"Daddy?" Ellie said. "I love you."

John stood up, and for the first time in over fifteen years, held Ellie close. "I love you too, baby girl. I love you too."

"Come on, let's go."


End file.
